Raising young children is probably more art than science. While you may or may not have been blessed with the innate ability to be a great parent, you can learn good parenting skills. Realize that life as a toddler can be very frustrating. They can't get what they want on their own and when they can't do it themselves, they may communicate their frustration by throwing a tantrum or other misbehavior.

Here are 5 keys to getting good behavior from your toddlers.

1. Head off tantrums before they begin

• If a tantrum breaks out, stay calm and try to distract your child. Don't worry about minor eruptions, but if your child is hitting, kicking, and screaming. You have to hold him or her close to you or if that doesn't work, try a short period of alone time (for the child that is).


• Recognize and avoid tantrum triggers. You should know if your child more often than not has tantrums in a certain setting, Avoid that place or situation if possible. If it's necessary to take her to a stressful situation, make sure she's not tired or hungry.


• Use a Mister Rogers voice - kind, soft, friendly - when you ask your child to do something. Use please and thank you a lot. "Taylor, please put the knife down... Thank you"


• Stay calm when you hear, "No". It may sound defiant to you, but it's just another word to your child if you don't overreact.


• Don't say, "No" to you child very often. Pick your battles.


• Make sure your child understands what you are asking of her. It may be crystal clear to you, but may be confused.


• Let your child choose frequently. It teaches independence. "Which shoes would you like to wear this morning?


• Don't bargain. Don't make deals like, "If you stop screaming, we'll go to MacDonalds for lunch." You'll just be teaching your child to behave only when he's being rewarded.


• Make a game out of good behavior. He'll be more likely to do what you want if you make it fun.


• Establish a daily schedule and stick to it. Your child likes to know what to expect.

When your child breaks the rules, she needs to know what the consequences are and you need to be completely committed to enforcing the consequences. Dad and Mom, and Nanny all have to be on the same page. Rules must be enforced and consequences meted out uniformly. This reduces your child's confusion and need to test the rules.

Here are some ideas that will help.

• Make consequences logical. "If you don't put your train set away right now, you won't be able to play with it tomorrow. Taking away the use of the toy connected to the misbehavior is a logical consequence.


• Let your child experience the consequences of his actions naturally as long as he is not endangered. If he breaks a toy, he won't be able to play with it any more.


• Timeout. If after a warning, your child continues to misbehave, lead your child to a designated timeout spot. Make it short - 2 to 5 minutes for young children. If your child resists, hold him or her by the shoulders until time out is over.

With very young children, protect your child from harm with a few simple rules. You will add rules as needed, but watch for signs of confusion and frustration from your child indicating that you're expecting too much of them.

4. Accept Your Child

Your child will develop a unique personality, a complex package of genetic and learned traits. You may not like your child's personality because he or she is not like you or too much like you. Perhaps you'd prefer to have a more athletic son or a more outgoing daughter. Stop it. Accept your child. If they feel unaccepted, they will be more likely to behave badly.

5. Do It With Love

Show your child that you love him or her. Your child must feel that your love far outweighs any punishment or consequences. Reassure them of your love with frequent hugs and kisses. Praise them when they follow the rules. It will motivate them to more frequent good behavior.

President Obama's $789 Billion Recovery Bill includes some health care benefits for those recently unemployed. If you lost your job after September 1st, 2008, this bill has some very good news for you regarding your health care. The federal government will soon subsidize 60% of your COBRA premium for 9 months. Doesn't sound like a big deal to you? Let me explain. COBRA coverage is offered to individuals and their families who had group coverage with their employer before they lost their jobs. The problem is that COBRA insurance premiums are high and unemployment benefits are no so high. In fact, the average premium for family COBRA coverage exceeds the entire monthly unemployment benefit in 9 states: Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, and West Virginia.

If you lost your job recently, you have 62 days to decide on taking the COBRA offer or not. TAKE IT. You'll have to pay the entire premium for a month or two, but once the new legislation takes effect, you'll be paying only 35% of the premium. It's a great deal. Purchasing your own individual health insurance, assuming you can qualify, will cost you more for less coverage. If you pass up on the COBRA offer or wait beyond the 62 day window, you can't opt in later. It's a one-time offer.

Unfortunately, last minute haggling removed from the bill a provision that would have extended COBRA coverage to age 65 for jobless Americans over age 55.